


you're my sunshine and I want you to know

by Storithiana



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders' Era, Romance, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 16:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storithiana/pseuds/Storithiana
Summary: Sirius wants to cheer Remus up.





	you're my sunshine and I want you to know

Sirius wasn't sure what he had expected when he had finally convinced Remus to move in with him in his apartment but the way things currently were definitely wasn't it. Of course, Remus was Remus and not, for instance, James but still, the boy spent almost every waking moment buried in books instead of doing fun stuff with Sirius. He had expected at least some kind of excitement towards being flatmates. Remus didn’t seem to regret it, though, that was what really mattered to Sirius, but still, he had expected _more_.

Somehow Remus seemed even more melancholic than he ever was during the school years. He had always had that certain type of sadness in him – in his eyes, in the scar crossing his beautiful face, in his delicate movements – but usually it was still partially covered by amused smiles and endless sarcasm. Now it was more like the sadness was doing its best to hide everything else about Remus away.

And the thing was that seeing Remus constantly so unhappy made Sirius unbearably miserable, too. But also, he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

~

Out of all possible people, for some reason it was Lily who ended up being the one Sirius shared his problem with. They weren't still in the best terms but they had formed some kind of a peculiar friendship, and had learned to get along fairly well ever since Lily and James had started going out. They’d never be best friends but at least they understood each other better than most people could. After all, James was the Most Important Person In The World to the both of them. Loving and taking care of James Potter required a certain type of mindset, after all.

”I think you haven't tried to consider the situation from Remus's point of view”, Lily said after staying silent for a while. Sirius frowned.

”What do you mean?”

”In addition to just plain homesickness, he's probably not as happy about school being over than the rest of you are”, Lily explained slowly, patiently. That tone of voice should’ve annoyed Sirius, usually would’ve, but this time it didn’t. "You know, you and James have bright futures ahead of you with your remarkable wit - ", there was some sarcasm in Lily's voice, ” - and Peter also has plans but Remus... isn't as lucky as the rest of us.”

”Oh”, was all that came from Sirius's mouth. _I'm such an idiot,_ he thought. Lily smiled at him, somehow looking understanding, and a bit pitiful. Maybe it was because she knew how difficult it could be to good friends with the mysterious Remus Lupin.

”And you can't say it's news to you he has a habit of wallowing in his self pity", Lily said, smiling in sad way. ”But I'm sure that you can come up with something to lift his spirits, at least for a bit.”

”I suppose”, said Sirius, feeling a tiny bit better, and smiling back at Lily.

”So you better start coming up with a plan, buddy.”

~

There was also another matter bothering Sirius but it was something he hadn't dared to tell Lily. It was something far more odd and unsettling. It seemed that, after spending an increased amount of time by just the two of them, Sirius had somehow become _attracted to_ his tawny-haired friend. It made no sense.

Sirius did admit that he hadn't always been fully straight, most definitely not, but all his crushes had been girls, every time. His attraction towards boys had been merely theoretical, targeted at sinfully good-looking and muscular model boys in magazines. Or maybe he just hadn't let himself develop crushes on boys, he thought. Maybe his stuck up and prejudiced family had managed to plant homophobia – among other things – so deep into him that it just needed a lot of work to accept that side of himself. (Even if accepting others had always come easily from him. When Mary MacDonald came out to her friends, Sirius was the first one she told.)

And even if he had been subconsciously been attracted to other Hogwarts boys, he definitely hadn't been lusting over his friends before, he had drawn that line for himself a long ago. But there he was, shamefully thinking about Remus wanking off in the shower and desperate in his attempts to get a good glimpse of his body when he came from the bathroom and walked to his room, only a towel wrapped around his narrow waist.

He admitted that he had seen Remus frown slightly when he had passed Sirius and seen his eager looks but he was still quite sure his friend had no idea about his true feelings towards him. Remus must’ve come up with some kind of an alternative, rational explanation. They even weren’t _feelings_ , to be exact. Just desire. Nothing to be worried about. 

Sirius was trying so hard to convince himself so.

He could get over the urges of wanting to bang one of his best friends, but having a crush on or even being in love with one would be a whole new level of pain and difficulties. Overcoming that wouldn’t be such an easy task.

Especially when the person he hypothetically would be having a crush on, was Remus Lupin. His amazing, talented, magnificent friend of seven years.

_Oh, Merlin, I most definitely might have a crush on him._

~

Remus was reading _Hogwarts: A History_ when Sirius decided to set his grand plan of cheering his friend up into motion. “Moony?” Sirius said slowly and quietly, perhaps a bit too tenderly for his own taste. But maybe speaking gently was a good addition to his plans. Remus raised his head from the book on his lap and furrowed his brows, but didn’t say anything.

“I’ve probably never said this out loud to you but I’m very glad you wanted to move here with me”, Sirius said carefully. “I would’ve felt very lonely without you, you know.”

“Well, you always have James”, Remus said, shrugging. Sirius struggled but managed to prevent himself from sighing. It pained him that Remus didn’t trust himself at all – it really pained him that Remus couldn’t see himself the way Sirius saw him. Brilliant, funny, beautiful. Stronger than anyone else he knew.

“That’s not what I meant”, Sirius said, “he doesn’t live here with me. He lives with Lily. I can’t see him every day. But you’re here. You’re here keeping me sane.”

A ghost of a smile was on Remus’s face for a few seconds. It wasn’t much, perhaps, but in that moment, it was enough for Sirius. “You have become soft.” The corner of Remus’s mouth was twitching. Sirius shrugged, smiling a bit.

“Maybe”, he said and they went back to silently hanging out with each other. This time the silence wasn’t as pressuring and grim as usual, though. It made Sirius happy.

~

Remus John Lupin loved everything that had chocolate in it. Sirius had learned it already during their first year in Hogwarts. Thus, part of his ‘cheer up Moony’ plan was to bake chocolate muffins the day before full moon.

Sirius wasn't a bad baker, he was merely inexperienced. He was sure that with enough practice he could master baking anything in the world. But the thing was, he soon came to realize, that he had never actually baked anything.

So when Remus came home, after handling some Order related business for the most of the day, he found Sirius and their flat's kitchen covered in flour and chocolate. He stared at the sight for a while, before bursting into hysteric laughter.

”What?" Sirius huffed. ”What's so funny?”

”You”, Remus said, grinning. ”You really think this isn't at least a tiny bit amusing, for me to find you like this?”

”It is, but the embarrassed part of me has kind of taken over…”

Remus nodded, looking around at the mess Sirius had made. Sirius checked the oven and placed the trying-very-hard-to-be-cupcakes there carefully. When he was just closing the oven, Remus asked: ”So... was this an attempt to cheer me up or seduce me?”

The oven door slammed shut and Sirius stared at Remus, horrified.

Remus chuckled. ”What? You thought I hadn't noticed?”

Sirius just continued staring, as he hadn't still remembered how to form words. Remus stepped closer to him and wiped some of the cupcake frosting off Sirius' cheek with his index finger. He licked the frosting from his finger and Sirius' brain shut out completely. _What the hell is happening?_

”But lucky for you... I, uh, think I like you too”, Remus confessed, avoiding Sirius' eyes. ”Or at least, I think about kissing you a lot.” Sirius still didn't say anything, his brain was too busy trying to process his friend's words, and Remus groaned. ”Please, say something. It's kind of creepy for you to be so speechless.”

”Seems that you have that effect on me”, Sirius forced out of his mouth, cringing at how stupid it sounded. Remus laughed, and stepped even closer. Sirius gulped.

”Can I kiss you?”

Sirius nodded, barely noticeably, and after taking a deep, nervous breath, Remus pushed him against the wall and pressed his lips on Sirius'. The feeling of soft lips against his brought him back to the moment. _Yes, kissing is something I'm good at,_ he thought and kissed Remus back.

Remus hummed happily and pressed tightly against the other boy's body. Remus was gripping him hard by his shoulders and Sirius thought it'd be a good move to wrap his arms around Remus' waist.

They spent quite a while making out in the kitchen, before Sirius decided to drag Remus to his bedroom. At first Remus had looked mildly terrified but Sirius chuckled and shook his head slightly.  
”Let’s cuddle.”  _My second best skill after kissing._

”Oh, okay”, Remus chuckled, clearly relieved. He slowly moved to lie on the bed on his side, and Sirius placed himself behind his friend. Remus huffed happily, as Sirius wrapped his arm around his waist.

They lied there in silence for a while, before Remus whispered: ”Thank you, Sirius.”

_Mission accomplished._


End file.
